Take a Breath

Where is my time going? My life, Our life, seems to fill so quickly. I was busy before I had Delilah and now it seems as though it is perpetual busyness! And I like it, most of the time. Crazy old me also tends to add sugar to the diet soda, why? Because apparently I like like to see things get fizzy and explode.

School is going well, I am going to spend any and all "free time" ( and I laugh at that) doing homework. Most of which is reading and group meetings, I sure hope I am doing the right thing. Anyway, I really like this and I feel super inspired to do this, but my goodness there is no much to do. There is so much coming at me, and all of it is good. It seems that it is rushing at me, where as the good things in that occurred in my life in past seemed to creep slowly towards me. I am overwhelmed by goodness and strangely enough I am not sure how to deal...yet.

Delilah turned five months on the 30th of last month. I find that hard to believe. She is getting so big, so fast. I am missing the newborn Delilah but loving the five month old. She is one funny little girl too. She sings so loud it makes my heart tingle, and her conversations definitely keeps me involved. We are having an awesome time as a family and I really feel blessed at all the family and friends that have been involved in her short life so far, she is the social butterfly of the family, right after my heart.

Halloween was a quite one this year. For being my favorite holiday, I was surprised at how little there was for the day. Delilah was dressed as a lady bug, and I as nothing, for the first time in my life. We went to Bodega to see my niece in her school parade, stopped by my Dad's, and came home for a little R&R. No trick or treaters, no Halloween movies, nothing too festive. But I realize that is okay, my last year to never have to do anything again. Weird thought.

Tomorrow is a huge day for us. It is voting day. I have never been so involved before in my life! I am so enthusiastic, so excited about the prospects of what tomorrow can bring, so many weighted decisions to be apart of...monumental decisions that can shape the rest of my child's life.

Delilah has taught me this last week to forgive. I have had some trouble with various relationships in my life, feeling frustrated that I always give and give and never feel as though it is reciprocated. That giving 100% in a relationship only makes a relationship if both parties participate. These relationships were not ones I want to fail or disappear, but one can only offer so much, so that is when the resentment started. Then came the anger. Why should I be the one to work hard and extend all of myself for anther's convenience when it is never given back. And then I got it. WWJD. Do you remember that little phrase that is so HUGE! Jesus the man, Jesus the God, would do this, he would give all of himself, he did give all of himself, even when others never gave back, even when I don't give back. So seeing my daughter's face after having a very disappointing conversation with someone I had hoped would understand where I was coming from, helped to me to see that I want to teach her what would Jesus do. If not even for the religious aspect, but the human aspect. You can't get much better than that. So today I take a breath and think what would Jesus do?