Oh I wanted to cry

Yesterday, last night and today I felt like my life had been possessed by a child other than my own. A child who DID NOT SLEEP but four hours last night, and no naps yesterday. A child that for what ever I could do would not sleep unless she was held today and even then they were but 10 minute naps. Where did my sweet, no fuss, no tears girl go? I had a moment of panic today, my irrational fears came into play, why? Because I went against my gut feeling. Delilah had her doctors appointment on Tuesday, at that appointment she had her HIB shot. Ever since that day she has been quite fussy, progressively worse as each day passes. And then I remembered something someone once said, it was basically my child seemed to never be the same after that shot. What if I did that, what if?! Now, I know it is totally illogical, but I wanted to WAIT to give her vaccinations, I was planning on giving them all ( I am not that big of a hipster!) but not all at once and not right away. Well, that day I did not stand up for want I wanted. I know she is fine and most likely this is all a phase, but there is that thought of what if?

Delilah is teaching me a great number of things, and let me tell you, the last three days has been that of patients. Not with her, but rather with myself. I am learning to walk away, take a breath, and count. I need to recollect myself. Often when I am tired or overwhelmed I get grumpy ( or some may have more colorful words for that) and I don't like that about myself. So patients. I find myself with this verse weighing heavily on my heart.
"Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD."
Psalm 31:24 KJV