Delilah has been sick this week with her first REAL illness. She has had a wicked virus, with a temp that reached 103.6 degrees, can we say SCARY! We have made it though the rough part, or so I thought. Last week into this week she has been over needy, nursing like crazy, not eating OR sleeping well, and wanting only to be in our ( me and my hubbser's) bed. It has been draining. So I decided to get her "back on schedule" tonight. I put her in her crib, she was clean, fed, dry, and happy. That last MAYBE two minutes and the wailing began. Oh and did it go. I do not believe in letting her cry it out. For whatever reason it goes against all of my instinct, and I have yet to this day let her cry more than five minutes. I thought tonight maybe I have been wrong, maybe it is time to let her tough it out, even though she has always been able to self-sooth before. So after talking with my Dad, whom I adore and value his opinion on child rearing, he said let her cry for 10 minutes, if she can keep it up that long then something other than wanting to play at bed time is up. So I let her cry, and cry and CRY for eight minutes, and I could not take it anymore. My heart broke, I cried and even now I write this I am having a hard time holding back my tears. Her cries where like I have never heard before, the kind where she sobs and cannot catch her breath. I went it and scooped her up, and held her while she tried to suck in air, but still had occasional bursts of sadness.We cried together, then I brought her to our room and she nursed to sleep. Finally I was able to put her in her crib with a shirt of mine, for my smell.
I am at a loss, I am not sure what to do. I spoke too soon about my child who would go down to bed awake and now....now not during the day nor at night will she let me put her down. I am at my end, sad, and tired, and I am not sure where to go with this. I need all the mommies I can get, all the advice I can absorb because none of us can live this way! I love her so much that like tonight, it hurts. I cannot let my child feel scared or abandoned. As every mother knows there are different cries for different need, but tonight was a cry I have never ever heard...and that was beyond my cool. I pride myself on being a lax and down to earth Mom, even a hippie of sorts, but having a child ALWAYS wanting to be held, it gets to be overwhelming...so where to my Mommy friends?...what shall I do with my Delilah who will not be put down during the day without crying, and will not nap anywhere but my arms, and does not want to go to bed anywhere but in my bed? WHERE TOO? Do I let her cry? Is this a phase?
My Family
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First Time Lessons
- Heidi
- Stockton, CA, United States
- Here We Began is a little blip on the internet about our Twin Soul Union and the growth of friends into lovers, the beginning of a family, the joining of my daughter and the love of my life. This is all with grace, humor, and the love of Jesus Christ!
2 comments:
first exhale....
I am so sorry! It sounds like a few things are happening to your sweet little miss at once...sickness, and separation anxiety.
so yes, this is a phase but that doesn't make it any less sad. Bree is having it too right...so I totally sympathize. I'll call you think afternoon with some ideas, and what I do...but as always know this too will pass.
Hugs!
Is she still sick or perhaps still recovering? That adds to the neediness big time. My thoughts ... just love on her. She's probably still not feeling well. My boys are very needy after being sick, but after awhile they get back into the routine. Don't beat yourself up too much. Don't think you have to do everything "by the book" ... the most important advice is listening to YOUR heart! They're only little for so long ... be encouraged that this too shall pass. You can start retraining her when she's feeling 100% ... babies need their mom when they are sick. Just pray to God and He will grant you rest and peace. Take care! :)
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