My Baby you'll be

After a long hard day I finally am finding the time to sit, and to be creative, something that has been lacking for me personally for a while now. My husband is house sitting for his parents, so I have the house to me, and Delilah. She is in bed, the house is cleaned, and I feel no need to rush to bed to spend what little time my husband and I seem to have together. Granted I would much rather have him here, but in a sense I was able to create my own space tonight. This home we have created has become such a sanctuary to me, and it is rare that I can fully embrace that. It is quite, with no expectations. How nice.
Delilah, today, was tough. I realized parents love their child for days like these. She decided she did not want to make up her mind for what she wanted, but clearly did not want anything offered. Her tears made it hard today to put her down, to have a moment to myself to regain my sense of balance. She decided that napping was NOT for her today, and that she wanted to be held, but really did not want to be held. So at last, after fighting nursing, and finally taking a bottle she settled down in my bed. Breathe. It was today I realized just when I thought I wanted to scream or put her in her room and close the door, she came back at me with the cutest smile, or sweetest noise. When I had had enough she did something so cute and funny it was hard to continue being upset. And just a few moments ago, when I moved her to her crib, I did not want to put her down, I just wanted to hold her, kiss her. I love you for always, I will like you forever, as long as you're living my baby you'll be. That is a line from a book from my childhood that seemed to ring true tonight. I love her so much my heart almost hurts, and when days are hard, she reminds me that it is all for a good reason in the end.