A rolly pully oly!

So on Friday night Delilah was playing on the floor and I was sitting with her. Dan was working on his laptop near by. We were talking and I mentioned I thought Delilah would probably roll over by the end of the weekend. She had been trying so hard, she was almost was over, it was that one silly arm that would not allow her to. So, sure enough right as I said that, "PLOP!" and she went over. It scared the snot out of her, so as I decided whether to laugh, cry, or do both, I scooped her up and gave her kisses and praise! I put her back down and she continued to roll over until she was exhausted. She gets quite frustrated once she gets to her belly. She makes a crawling motion, but that head, it just seems to get so heavy after a while! So I flip her back and we start all over again. It was all very exciting. In the same day she also started her "sleepy baby" eye rub. At first I thought it was accidental, then I realized she is doing it intentionally. Amazing how fast one little person learns to control their world.

As I watch my little one embark on this physically and mentally challenging step in her little life I begin to question how the big things in life become so little. I was missing the days when all I cared about was coming home from school, meeting my neighborhood buddies and riding bikes. Where my only worries were picking up my barbies and doing my homework. Now I am in charge of a little thing that is so very big. I am molding a human life, forever.

I have been reading a really good parenting book, not that I think I need an author to tell me how to raise my kid, but that is WHY I chose to read it, because I don't think I need it which most likely means I do. But as I read it I find myself getting frustrated at so many parents in this world. That what seems like simple parenting concepts, things that are so logical and positive seem so over looked, or "too difficult". I know I cannot rescue the world from pain and hurt, but it is hard to stand by and not shake parents by the shoulders and say " WHY DID YOU HAVE A KID IF YOU REALLY DIDN'T WANT THE 'TROUBLE' OF RAISING THEM?!". I believe that many parents have children for selfish reasons, when this should be the most selfless act there is. An act of pure love, and act of patients and guidance. An act to learn from and ENJOY learning from. AHHHH!

I was concerned when I had Delilah that I would get tired of playing with her on the floor, or taking her to the park, or singing to her, but you know, I realize I love doing those things. I love explaining things, watching her learn new things, and I realized that I love it because I love her. I love her so much it is emotionally confusing! To feel so many emotions all at once for one person. I find moments of sentiment, like her rolling over, bitter sweet. I am happy, over joyed, yet so sad too. Happy that she is growing and changing, and sad that she is growing and changing. Who would have guessed you can feel two conflicting emotions for the same thing!

Delilah has taught me today that I know I can be a good parent. I know I will not be a perfect parent, but she taught me that I am willing to try to provide a life where she can grow up feeling smart, valued, responsible, and most of all loved. And that I will do all of this through good times and challenging times.